Re: Senseless Banter...

OhioGardener Tue Mar 10, 2020 8:51 am

sanderson wrote:I think a lot of us can relate.]
From Vegetable Gardening:

Reminds me of frequent discussions in our life:

DW: We need to go to Walmart

Me: What do we need to get there?

DW: Don't know, I haven't seen it yet.

**Kelejan** Tue Mar 10, 2020 9:52 am

Garden Centres are places that I like to browse through and end up buying something that takes my fancy.

Grocery stores are places I go to with a planned list and seldom buy anything not on that list, unless it is something I use all the time and it is on sale without me realising it.

ralitaco Tue Mar 10, 2020 12:39 pm

Big Blue and Big Orange get me in trouble...there's the garden center AND the tool section!!!

**Kelejan** Tue Mar 10, 2020 12:49 pm

ralitaco wrote:Big Blue and Big Orange get me in trouble...there's the garden center AND the tool section!!!

Double trouble, ralitaco. Smile

plantoid Tue Apr 07, 2020 3:18 pm

**sanderson** Tue Apr 07, 2020 5:41 pm

Can't open anything.

countrynaturals Tue Apr 07, 2020 6:50 pm

sanderson wrote:Can't open anything.

I can't either.

plantoid Wed Apr 08, 2020 4:42 am

Neither can I now .

It was a cartoon of the grim reaper with his scythe of death over his shoulder saying to someone :-

" Seeing as your going out visiting , may I join you ?" .

**AtlantaMarie** Wed Apr 08, 2020 8:16 am

Snicker....

plantoid Thu Apr 09, 2020 6:00 pm

It appears from what some of my pals in the IT industries say that the big boys like MSM , YouTube & Yahoo etc. are using automatic censoring once a complaint has been made & looked at if you use the CV 19 word or are happy to pull a cartoon /picture about it .
But the search engines still allow beheadings to be found on line .

OhioGardener Sun Apr 12, 2020 9:30 pm

ralitaco Mon Apr 13, 2020 8:02 am

Very True

karynne Mon Apr 20, 2020 8:54 pm

if you haven't seen this already:

Here are the official Coronavirus guidelines:

1. Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.

2. Masks are useless. But they will protect you. They can save you, no they can’t, they’re useless, but wear one anyway. Now they’re mandatory. But maybe. Or not.

3. Stores are closed, except for the ones that are open.

4. You should not go to the hospital unless you have to go there. Stay out of the ER at all costs unless you’re having a medical emergency then it’s okay.

5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster. Stay calm.

6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help. Especially if you wear the same pair for hours and everywhere you go, then you can not spread germs, nope.

7. Everyone needs to stay home, but it's important to go out because sun. Sunlight will kill the virus but not if the virus kills you first by walking in the sunlight where you may be exposed to the virus.

8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.

9. The virus has no effect on children except those it has affected or will affect.

10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested yet, and a tiger.. and one really deadly but also possibly fictional but very sick bat.

11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms.

12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but also never go out to the grocery store so eat shelf stable processed crap and stay inside your four walls but also stay healthy.

13. It's better to get some fresh air, but you may be arrested if you’re getting fresh air the wrong way and most importantly, don't go to a park, the fresh air there is deadly.

14. Under no circumstances should you go to retirement homes, but if you have to take care of the elderly and bring them food and medication then fine. Just wear gloves. The same ones. All day.

15. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy to get your medications. Just don’t make eye contact cause you may spread your sickness that way.

16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to leave your groceries outside for 3 hours to be decontaminated by the fresh air that also may have virus particles floating around in it.

17. Taxi drivers are immune to the virus apparently since you can still take a taxi ride with a random taxi driver. Just don’t take the taxi to your mom’s house because you know. Stay away from your mom.

18. You can walk around with a friend if you stay six feet apart but don’t visit with your family if they don't live under the same roof as you. Even if you’ve all been locked inside for two months already. You may still have the virus and just not know it yet. You’ll find out. Wait another week. Wasn’t that week? Might be the next one. Keep waiting.

19. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance. Social distancing means you shouldn’t leave your house and don’t be social, except you may go to the liquor store but don’t socialize there while you’re being socially distant.

20. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.

21. The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.

22. We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of…

23. The virus will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity.. but stay inside until the virus disappears.

**Scorpio Rising** Tue Apr 21, 2020 9:20 am

Sadly kinda true! Also pretty funny...lol!

**Kelejan** Wed Apr 22, 2020 11:02 am

Dear Hoomans
I have noticed over the past couple of weeks you have been staying in my home for extended periods of time. It is lovely having you here but I feel I should set a few ground rules. I would appreciate it if you would follow the rules whilst you are staying with me;
1. When you do pop out, you need to strongly consider take me with you.
2. You seem to be eating lots of nice goodies whilst lazing about the house. I am entitled to a share of these. I won’t make a fuss, I will just sit in front of you and quietly stare at you until I get my quota.
3. Don’t call me for another bath, I am clean now. Just because you are bored doesn’t mean I need a wash.
4. As you are here constantly at the moment, it is your duty to let me out as often as I require. That means that even if I have just come in and want to go out again, you should let me. Sometimes I miss a spot whilst sniffing about and I need to recheck.
5. When I am asleep, leave me sleeping. I can also sleep where I like, I don’t expect to be woken so you can move me.
6. Do not shhhh me when I am barking. As you are here more, my job of protecting you has increased. I have to listen out for every little noise and inform you of it in case it’s a threat.
7. Don’t leave a room without me, I know how sneaky you can be. Just the other day I am sure I heard a crisp packet being opened upstairs and no one called me to share. So from now on I will be following you about.
8. This is a very important rule. If it lands on the floor it’s MINE, if it’s in my mouth it’s MINE, if it's yours, it's MINE.
9. You will never pee alone again, you watch me pee so I do not understand why you shut me out and close the loo door when you pee.
Love Jazz I love you

**Kelejan** Wed Apr 22, 2020 11:22 am

NEW BUDGET:

GAS FOR CAR           $0

CLOTHES                 $0

ENTERTAINMENT      $0

SELF CARE              $0

NIGHTS OUT            $0

FOOD:                     $2,576.89

**sanderson** Wed Apr 22, 2020 2:51 pm

OhioGardener Thu Apr 23, 2020 9:32 am

Kelejan wrote:NEW BUDGET:

GAS FOR CAR           $0
CLOTHES                 $0
ENTERTAINMENT      $0
SELF CARE              $0
NIGHTS OUT            $0
FOOD:                     $2,576.89

Funny as that is, there is a bit of truth to it. Yesterday we had to venture out to Sam's Club to stock up on the essentials to add to our home canned and frozen vegetables and fruit. In the month since we've been out, we ran out of some things like flour, meat, milk, eggs, olive oil, cheese, and butter, so off to the store we went. The total came to over $200, and there wasn't a single canned food item in the cart. But, ironically, we filled up with gas before heading back home at $0.99 per gallon for a cost of just over $10.00

Yardslave Thu Apr 23, 2020 10:38 am

Sheltering....stocking up on 3 week's supply of booze every 2 weeks affraid

OhioGardener Thu Apr 23, 2020 10:57 am

Yardslave wrote:Sheltering....stocking up on 3 week's supply of booze every 2 weeks

Darn, that is what I forgot! Now I'll have to make another run... Shocked

countrynaturals Thu Apr 23, 2020 11:55 am

OhioGardener wrote:
Yardslave wrote:Sheltering....stocking up on 3 week's supply of booze every 2 weeks

Darn, that is what I forgot! Now I'll have to make another run...

Is that new math? bottoms up

Yardslave Thu Apr 23, 2020 12:20 pm

John Travolta hospitalized for suspected corona.

After testing, it was determined he just had Saturday Night Fever.

So for now it looks like he'll be Stayin' Alive.

yolos Thu Apr 23, 2020 12:28 pm

Still haven't been able to get toilet paper, paper towels or eggs. Thankfully, Home Depot had a big sale on paper products the week before the shut down so we were stocked to the gills with toilet paper, paper towels and clorox wipes.

OhioGardener Thu Apr 23, 2020 12:38 pm

yolos wrote:Still haven't been able to get toilet paper, paper towels or eggs.

Sam's Club yesterday had both toilet paper and paper towels in stock. We didn't need any, though, since we'd just purchased a big package of each just before the lockdown started.

**Kelejan** Thu Apr 23, 2020 2:54 pm

Our main toilet paper producer located in British Columbia is working 24 hours a day producing the brand Purex and says that he will not let Canada down. But he is making money and perhaps will take a year off as so many people have a year's supply of toilet paper in their homes.

I am think that was tongue in cheek but I am sure that when all this is over, production will fall for a while.

I had to smile some weeks ago on our Provincial YV when talking about the TP shortage
they kept showing a picture of a lady wheeling a trolley stacked double high with the stuff and she had to peer round the pile to see where she was going. Her face was very identifiable and I wondered at the time how long they would show this. Two weeks later they showed the same clip but with her face blurred out.

But the way, I found it fascinating how large the original paper rolls are, one of those would keep a family going for years and years.

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