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Senseless Banter...
+48
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TCgardening
52 posters
Page 1 of 40
Page 1 of 40 • 1, 2, 3 ... 20 ... 40
Senseless Banter...
So, a little wet there in Wales, eh Plantoid? LOL! Love the poem! Still fun to get away?
Scorpio Rising- Posts : 8834
Join date : 2015-06-12
Age : 62
Location : Ada, Ohio
Re: Senseless Banter...
Bummer of a vacation. I read your poem to my wife and we had a good laugh! Back in about 1990 we went to the Bahamas just in time for Tropical Storm. Your poem is very fitting to that trip.
At least you have a good sense of humor about it.
Craig
At least you have a good sense of humor about it.
Craig
TCgardening- Posts : 223
Join date : 2013-12-28
Age : 67
Location : Zone 10a Stuart, Fla
Re: Senseless Banter...
Very cute poem!
Marc Iverson- Posts : 3637
Join date : 2013-07-05
Age : 63
Location : SW Oregon
The English language
Her's another poem I don't know who wrote or where it comes from it but I do like it. I'd like to thank the author/s whoever they are.
ONLY THE ENGLISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England....
We take English for granted but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?
ONLY THE ENGLISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England....
We take English for granted but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?
plantoid- Posts : 4095
Join date : 2011-11-09
Age : 73
Location : At the west end of M4 in the UK
Re: Senseless Banter...
Had never read the entire poem before... whew!
Does make you wonder, though........
Does make you wonder, though........
Re: Senseless Banter...
Plantoid, that is so true. Often wondered why so many find it difficult to learn English. Thanks for sharing that. Am going to share that.
greatgranny- Posts : 661
Join date : 2012-05-25
Location : Central Minnesota - Zone 4
yolos- Posts : 4139
Join date : 2011-11-20
Age : 74
Location : Brooks, Ga Zone 7B/8A
Re: Senseless Banter...
Very cute! I liked the rhyming part best, but it's a fun read.
Marc Iverson- Posts : 3637
Join date : 2013-07-05
Age : 63
Location : SW Oregon
Re: Senseless Banter...
Excellent!!!! Love it!!!!
Scorpio Rising- Posts : 8834
Join date : 2015-06-12
Age : 62
Location : Ada, Ohio
senseless banter
Never heard that entire verse Plantoid.
My mother came to this country from Sicily at the age of 12 and learned English well enough but she was always baffled by its structure. Italian is pretty straightforward in contrast. Like the word "enough".. How is it that gh is pronounced like f.
She was very amusing. She would listen to a show called the Breakfast club and the comedian would tell a story and she would try to repeat it, using different words, so the story wasn't funny. She was perplexed "It means the same thing" she would say of the words she substituted.
Ah memories.
My mother came to this country from Sicily at the age of 12 and learned English well enough but she was always baffled by its structure. Italian is pretty straightforward in contrast. Like the word "enough".. How is it that gh is pronounced like f.
She was very amusing. She would listen to a show called the Breakfast club and the comedian would tell a story and she would try to repeat it, using different words, so the story wasn't funny. She was perplexed "It means the same thing" she would say of the words she substituted.
Ah memories.
kauairosina- Posts : 656
Join date : 2014-01-16
Age : 89
Location : Lawai, Hawaii, 96765
Re: Senseless Banter...
Rosina: I remember an old English comedy film starring Will Hay who was training to be a spy in England and he had to learn the various pronunciations of any - ough word.
Off the top of my head -
enough uff
tough
enough
rough
slough ow
bough
cough off
lough ock
bought awt
brought
But then, I am English born and bread so I think nothing of it. Until I really think about it.
Off the top of my head -
enough uff
tough
enough
rough
slough ow
bough
cough off
lough ock
bought awt
brought
But then, I am English born and bread so I think nothing of it. Until I really think about it.
Hip2B likes this post
Re: Senseless Banter...
Being English born & bread shows you've been away from here far too long .
I'm Yorkshire born & bred
I'm Yorkshire born & bred
plantoid- Posts : 4095
Join date : 2011-11-09
Age : 73
Location : At the west end of M4 in the UK
Re: Senseless Banter...
I caught that bread/bred mistake, but not quick enough.plantoid wrote:Being English born & bread shows you've been away from here far too long .
I'm Yorkshire born & bred
Hip2B likes this post
Re: Senseless Banter...
Pedant !
plantoid- Posts : 4095
Join date : 2011-11-09
Age : 73
Location : At the west end of M4 in the UK
Re: Senseless Banter...
Kelejan wrote:I caught that bread/bred mistake, but not quickly enough.plantoid wrote:Being English born & bread shows you've been away from here far too long .
I'm Yorkshire born & bred
Gardening humor
I heard a one-liner that I thought was worth sharing:
"Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden."
Docwas
"Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden."
Docwas
Docwas
Certified SFG Instructor- Posts : 23
Join date : 2015-07-30
Age : 79
Location : Belton, TX
Re: Senseless Banter...
A WEED IS A FLOWER GROWING IN THE WRONG PLACE
Elizabeth City, NC
Click for weather forecast
walshevak
Certified SFG Instructor- Posts : 4370
Join date : 2010-10-17
Age : 81
Location : wilmington, nc zone 8
Re: Senseless Banter...
That's for sure....lol
Scorpio Rising- Posts : 8834
Join date : 2015-06-12
Age : 62
Location : Ada, Ohio
Re: Senseless Banter...
Very well said!
Marc Iverson- Posts : 3637
Join date : 2013-07-05
Age : 63
Location : SW Oregon
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