Only a Gardener Would . . .

Some of the things we do that cause our neighbors to wonder if we are okay.  These are just from memory.

Beat an old Dogwood with a shovel to get it to bloom.

Touch self pollinators with a C-note tuning fork.

Go out at night with a flashlight or cell phone to inspect for pests.

Get excited about finding 1 worm, then want to name him, caress him, care for him.

Get excited about and collect rotten produce.

Visit Starbucks and not even like their coffee.

Get excited about free lumber, a discarded dresser, etc.  (Poor soul is now a hoarder)

Carry plastic bags while walking the dog in case they find bear poop.

Scrounge behind stores for cardboard.

Fight near-invisible bird netting.  (That's really cause for concern as they can't see what we are fighting!)

Chase a white butterfly with a net, coffee in left hand, while in summer pj's.

Ask others for animal poop.


Anyone think of other normal oddities?

microwave egg shells so no salmonella in worm bin

carry a rubbermaid bin in the back of the truck  JIC something becomes available for the compost.

always have a small spade and some gardening gloves in the truck.  You never know   

Stop at a stranger's house and ask if you can have the bags of raked leaves waiting for trash pickup

Haunt the rear of stores for pallets and hope they are giving them away.

re Starbucks - I don't drink coffee at all.
Kay

Have a neighbor across the street holler  over to your hubby that he has never seen a grown man chasing butterflies (cabbage moths)  with a paddle before ….  an electric paddle!

Weep, sob and morn  over  tomato plants as you put them to rest in a large black plastic bag, after  they unexpectedly died over night with a severe case of late blight  

Ask neighbors if you can rake their leaves and take them home  

Pick thru table scraps to pick out the best tid bits to give to your  worms

Your worm bin is included with your family pets  

Talk to spiders   out In the garden and thanking them for being so protective of the veggies

The family inspects spiders caught in the house before killing them  to decide if it’s a house spider  (kill) or a garden spider (take out to the garden and set free)

Take in sniffs  of compost and soil to see if its smelling good

Apologize to busy bees  when bumping into them while working with the plants their on
 


 

 


happy gardening
rose

... haul back-breaking tubs full of horse poop from his neighbor's house to his own back yard every day, despite a bad back and bad knee.

... actually ask someone to give him chicken****.

when starting a garden going out with a tape measure instead of a shovel/ rake

...be seen carefully doing this...

hope it works!

...after finding those nasty hornworm caterpillars, inspecting your tomato plants like those baboons who pick fleas off their neighbor's back and then declaring war on any other caterpillars that may be hiding out(and being quite vocal about it in the yard)!
Renee  

My SFG's are in the front yard right up by the street...highly visible by neigbors, drivers, dogwalkers, joggers, etc...

I've probably been seen picking tomatoes at night with a headlamp...wearing only underwear and flip-flops.

Been seen chasing cabbage butterflies around the yard swatting frantically with a ball cap.

Been seen cursing squirrels and rabbits...maybe been seen peeing around my gardens at night...read it helps keeps the rabbits away.

Been seen dumping my "trash" in the compost pile.

Collecting the  horse ***t off the road  just after  the local horse riding club has gone by whilst wearing a fluro high vis safety jacket so the car drivers can miss this old guy on crutches with bucket and long handled kiddies sand spade.

...step out on the porch with a cup of coffee in the morning only to see the driveway lined with a bag of lobster shells, one of grass clippings, 2 buckets of garden trimmings & 1 bowl of kitchen scraps left as donations for the compost pile by early walking neighbors.

...grab a bucket of ice off the porch in a foot of snow in January to put in the bathtub to use for 'liquid' compost donations.

CC

Stopping the waitress from taking your plate of empty crab, oyster, clam shells and shrimp tails and asking for a doggy bag for it...

... feel like apologizing to a plant when he pulled it.
... begin a conversation with a moth that landed on his shoulder, and hope he took it to heart.

...creates an garden 'map' in excel and prints copies for each season

...weighs everything picked from the garden and figures out how much was saved over buying organic produce in the store

...carries the All New SFG book around and tells anyone that will listen all about how awesome it is  

...calls the local bait store to ask about the price of worms, only to be asked if it's for a science experiment... 

...plans and re-plans garden layout based on companion planting guide - and gets frustrated!

...calls everyone over who will look to show off the little sprouts coming up from seed - and cares for them like it's their own child

Tells every one who will listen about his garden and showing pictures of it on his phone like its his kids.
I have actually been the cause of several of my fellow workers starting gardening. 
Just can't get them to all use SFG.

plantoid wrote:Collecting the  horse ***t off the road  just after  the local horse riding club has gone by whilst wearing a fluro high vis safety jacket so the car drivers can miss this old guy on crutches with bucket and long handled kiddies sand spade.

Indeed this thread is HILARIOUS!!!

... divide trash and scraps into paper, cardboard, plastic, glass, recyclable cans and bottles, regular trash, garbage disposal fare, compost fodder, chicken food, dog treats, and worm food.

beg to mow the neighbors lawn because she needed more green for the compost tumbler.

beg to rake the neighbors leaves because she needed more brown for the compost tumbler.

break out the sewing machine to fashion custom netting outfits for individual Brassica.

chase white moths with a child's butterfly net while mumbling obscenities.

photograph a tomato like it was a supermodel.

start a scrapbook/photo album of a garden's growth like it was a first born child.

reverently refer to Mel's SFG book as "the bible".

plot plant placement using the intricate strategies of a military mission.

not have the good sense to come in from the pouring rain if it interrupted her gardening.

hold an umbrella over a prized tomato plant during a hail storm.

admit to the stupid things she does for her garden on the internet.

Speed home early from work when an unexpected hail storms comes to town, run out side with a box on your head frantically trying to cover anything you can with anything you can find, while your husband yells from the door "You're $(%*$(#) CRAZY"!

Stare at the ground like someone who lost a contact, only looking she's for slugs. 

Carry some armfuls of trimming to the compost pile, while carrying others to a burn pile on the furthest corner of the property. 

trim suckers off of tomato plants (my neighbors think that's crazy), and keeping it as a single vine.

draw lines on my trellis every Sunday to document my plants' growth. 

Play motivational music to the plants who don't seem to "keep up" with the others

Put out some of my expensive deer cameras up over my garden, to PROVE to the crazy cat neighbor that it's HER cats going into my garden! 

Before going out of town, having to ask someone to water the garden.  And once they agree, informing them of all the stipulations, depending upon how much rain is in the rain guage, how to fill the bucket, what hours are best to water, don't get water on the leaves, just the ground etc.  This is when folks find out who their friends are.

OMG  I'm glad I'm not the only one doing these things!
This topic is hysterical!
Now I don't feel quite as crazy as I thought I was.

lyndeeloo wrote:OMG  I'm glad I'm not the only one doing these things!
This topic is hysterical!
Now I don't feel quite as crazy as I thought I was.

...well, I still do, but not just because of my choices of gardening activities.  

Feel guilty when you throw good scraps into the compost pile instead of the chickens...  so going out and picking them something to make up for it...

Save coat hangers and TP rolls.